Presence and Success

The conversations are about confidence, respect, being valued, being recognized, getting your ideas heard, and taking risks.

You can get good at it

This comes naturally to some people, but probably fewer than you think.

People often say to me, well this is easy for you, this is one of your strengths. I can tell you this was not always so.

I can remember early in my career being very nervous,  timid, or awkward in certain situations, and being worried and defensive when I had to meet or spend time with “important people”.

And because I was always young for the job I was in, I was often coached that I needed to work on my “gravitas” my or executive presence.

I eventually got there. Here is what I have learned:

Executive Presence has 4 parts

1. How you Feel
2. How you Look
3. How you Behave
4. Never appearing overwhelmed

1. How you feel

Be who you are

If you are being who you really are, you will be comfortable.  You will come across as strong.

Here is where people argue, but I can’t do that.  Who I really am is a surfer, and I wear beach clothes and tell jokes and I can’t be like that at work.

The trick is to still be the comfortable, relaxed person you are on the weekend, and bring all that  positive, real surfer-dude energy to your work environment.  You don’t need to bring the beach sand and the margaritas to work to be who you authentically are.

If you are positive, focused, like to challenge yourself, and have a sense of humor solving tough work issues, people will be drawn to that and respect you (as long as you get the work done too!)

If you instead overly contrive a non-surfer, buttoned-up, false work-persona, you will never be fully comfortable in it and your executive presence will always take a hit.

Be confident

This is really the crux of the issue.  It’s hard to be comfortable if you are not confident.  There are two schools of thought here.

1. Go into therapy for years to work on your self confidence
2. Do it anyway – Be fearless even when you are not confident.

I read an interview with the comedian, singer and improv performer Wayne Brady, which had a big impact on me.

I am paraphrasing, but he said when he needs to do an improv or anything on stage, if he is confident about it, he does it full on, all the way. But if he is standing on stage thinking, “hmm, I’m not sure this one is going to work, or I’m not sure this is going to be good”  He does it full on, all the way, anyway.

Don’t ever back off when you are not confident

He said that it never helps to second guess yourself and approach a performance apologetically in case it might not work out.

In fact, being tentative about what you are doing will guarantee that it doesn’t go well.

I have thought about that every time I have been in a situation where I was not as comfortable or as confident about my role, my performance, my argument, or my task, and I can tell you, it makes a huge difference. It’s always better than the moderated, apologetic version.

Fearlessness is a requirement

Fearlessness sets successful people apart.  You probably know lots of people who are not as talented as you, but have more executive presence.  Why not allow yourself at least that much?

Something that I talk about in my upcoming book in a chapter called “Executive Confessions” is that:  Everyone is Bluffing.

There is no executive that knows everything about the job they are in.

They are successful because they are willing to put themselves out there, make presentations, make decisions, and lead even though they don’t know everything personally.

The people that scramble around to learn and master every detail are the ones who get stuck because:

1. it is an endless task
2. so it uses up all your time
3. and you never actually step up and get around to leading

They believe that they can only be competent (and therefore confident and comfortable) if they know all the details.  But they are sacrificing their executive presence, and failing to lead.

Think about it this way.  By definition,  this goes against building any executive presence because people always SEE you in the weeds.

2. How you look

It matters.  You may think that what you say and think and do all matter more, and they do, but what about the people that only ever SEE you?

When you walk into a room, if you want to be seen as someone who is in charge, someone with presence, you need to look the part.

I have seen executives who are very casual get away without this, but their confidence and other leadership behaviors are off the charts.

If you want to stack the deck in your favor, pay attention to your appearance.  You don’t need to be a fashionista, but you should make sure your clothes really fit well, your shoes are not grubby, and your hair style and glasses are of this century.

No one ever felt more confident by wearing a cheap suit.

In fact I heard that when Sean Connery first started playing James Bond, they got him a really good suit and then encouraged him to wear it all week and even sleep in it.  This goes back to feeling comfortable.  One of the reasons Sean Connery pulled off James Bond because he was comfortable in the suit!

Trick:  Quality clothes that really fit you (superficial outside improvement) will make you feel more confident (meaningful inside improvement).

3. How you behave

How you talk and act, and what you say and do, either build or degrade your executive presence.  Being comfortable and confident give you a huge head start, of course, but the specifics matter too.

Whether you are in a room with your team, a large function in your company, or a meeting with your executive committee, board or other big, scary people, it is important to show up as, and be recognized as a leader with strong presence.

Step up!

If you are in a room with your team, lead.  Step up.  Don’t just be in the room or at the dinner with them.  Say something.  Have a point of view.  Reach out to them. Bring them together as a team with your words and actions.

If you are in a room with big executives, show up.   Meet them.  Get a sense of what they are most interested in and talk to them about that.  Ask some questions. Get input and feedback. (fearless, remember).

Don’t just stick to your prepared presentation and your work.  Do some research. Have a story that they will relate to that has nothing to do with work.

If you stay in the shadows, or are timid because you are nervous about being there, you are showing them you don’t really belong there.  Be a full person, willing to engage.

4. Never Appearing Overwhelmed

This is probably a sub-category of How you Behave, but it is one of the most hazardous to your executive presence.

Think about it this way.  If you appear overwhelmed in what you are currently doing, you are by definition showing that you are not ready for a bigger job.

Part of executive presence is to look like you are doing your job with ease and grace.  Even if behind the scenes it is chaos, what people should see is you calm and in control.

Deal with the overwhelm privately.

Don’t cancel meetings at the last minute, don’t act rushed and impatient.

Don’t get upset or defensive when people do things that throw you off course.  Just say “let me take that input and get back to you”, and then go off privately and scream, get frustrated, re-work or not, and go back calm and in control.

How come there are so many highly successful assholes?

Well…(sigh),  clearly, being an asshole does not prevent you from being successful — we can all name at least a few. 

And as you know, I believe that you will be most successful and most powerful if you are being yourself.   So if who you authentically are is a brilliant asshole, it would probably not serve you as well to try and be artificially nice to people. 

The next question is:

Can you be successful and be nice too?

Yes.

I know there are a lot of people out there who aspire to big success and are hoping that you can achieve it, and also be a good person who you are proud of along the way.

It boils down to this: You can’t create big success alone. 

You must win the support and loyalty of people along the way.

Choice 1: If you do it by building and earning trust, treating people like humans, creating good working environments with clear priorities, managing performance, developing people, and being generous with feedback and appreciation, you will create a motivated and loyal workforce.

Choice 2: If you treat people like crap, you still need their motivation and loyalty, so you’ll need to BUY it.

Virtually all of the successful leaders I have encountered who treat people badly — from their executives to the barista at the coffee house — and take no care whatsoever to create a positive working environment — have purchased the loyalty and motivation of their team by paying noticeably more than you can get elsewhere. 

This can work.  This does work. 

OK – reality check – in this economic environment where people are becoming more and more glad to have a job at all, more assholes will be “getting away with it”, without necessarily paying more. 

But loyalty and motivation still suffer a big blow.  As soon as things turn around, when people can find a different job for the same pay — one where they are not getting tortured, they will move on. 

And if things don’t turn around quickly, the highest performers who can always find a job, will unlikely be retained with more money, because there is no more money.

When the money runs out, you are out of moves.

If instead you have built a foundation of trust and sensible working environment, with fair pay (rewarding the stars, and managing out the low performers) people will stick with you through good times and bad. 

And you definitely can achieve big success over time.

Personal note:

Very early in my career,  I was concerned that you really did have to be a nasty person to get ahead.  Maybe even lie, cheat and steal to do it.   But I had the good fortune of finding a role model and a mentor who was not only an inspiring and hugely successful business leader, but who was a good and caring person with high integrity too.

It really defined the core of my own personal leadership strategy which is based on the premise that growing successful businesses come from growing, successful people.

This may not make me a multi-billionaire, but that’s OK with me. 

The best part of my own career and any success I achieved was when I could help people along the way achieve more than they dreamed, and the many friendships that have come out of it. 

Related Resources:

Leading vs. Managing Podcast
Investing in Strengths Podcast

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I have interviewed hundreds of people for executive and senior management positions.  Virtually all of the people were qualified –
more than half of them were boring.

Now, more than ever – it’s time to stand out. 

One mistake people make is to present themselves as a “package of skills”. 
This is shooting yourself in the foot.  It’s dull. 
It’s unimpressive.  It positions you badly.
It bores the interviewer to death!

Boring: I have a lot of experience leading complex projects and programs. I always deliver on time. 

Sticky: I am very competitive, always have been.   So I make sure the goal is not only clearly defined, but looming large, to motivate the team to cross that finish line, because I am so driven to win. A great example of this is a funny story about when I was racing Italian motorcycles…

Boring: I have led service organizations for technology companies for 15 years.  I have experience in software and hardware.

Sticky: I have an unusual combination of strengths. I am both highly analytical AND hugely action oriented. I can analyze a lot of information quickly, but then I’m driven to ACT – not get more data.  This has always been true about me.  An interesting example: in college, I created and ran a children’s marine science competition…

Boring: I have exceeded quota for 17 quarters in a row.

Sticky:  I have a strong sense of empathy and I’m kind of obsessive about maximizing success in any situation.  Customers love me because it’s always clear that I am creating and fighting for exactly what they need.   As a result I have been able to make my numbers consistently in good times and bad.

Don’t skip the weird stuff!

I know a sales manager who had a former career directing theater.  I know an engineering manager who is an award winning chef!  Everyone that interviews them knows it too.

It’s as important to be memorable, as it is to make a good impression in the first place.  Is that the one who does competitive origami? gets you more far more traction than, is that the one who said they are good at delivering products on time?

The higher the position, the less the work skills matter, and the more it matters who you are as a human, what your values are, what your natural strengths are, how you lead, and how you choose and develop people. 

Sure you need to cover the skills to get the interview, but to win the job –

                 You need to convey WHY you are good at what you do.

By discussing your core strengths and values you show people what they are going to get when they get YOU; it shows in a more concrete way, why they can be confident that you will be successful.  

Really think about why you are good at what you do.  What makes you different?  What are the things that are always true about you, how you work, and why you are successful?

This is your interview gold.

More Resources:

If you want some help builiding your story, attend a Career Workshop.

Another angle on this:  Seth Godin wrote some advice here for marketing job seekers, but but it’s a great article for anyone interviewing.

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