On a flight this week I had a fun conversation with a top sales executive about the profession of selling.

The best sales people have some fundamental things in common:

• They put themselves out there over and over again with no fear
• They hear “NO” a lot, and always keep trying
• Disappointment, hurt pride, and failure have little impact on their continuing to do the first 2
• They always tune their offer to what their customer values most.

Skip the disappointment

The best sales people get over disappointment quickly and jump right back in the game. They don’t let failures along the way discourage or stall them, or damage their confidence.

One of the best stories I heard about this was a sales person telling a non-sales colleague:

The difference between you and me is that if you went up to every woman in this bar and asked them for a date, and they all said, NO, you would not talk to them again. If I went to every woman in this bar and asked them for a date, and they all said NO, I would go back and ask each one of them again. And a third time…

Three Sales lessons for your Success

1. NO is never a dead end

Every good sales person I know, can tell you how many NO’s on average it takes them to get to a YES. If their number is 17, when they hear NO for the 14th time, they don’t get discouraged.  Their reaction is more like, “Great, I’ve got through one more step to YES!”

NO, is not only a critical step in the process, it’s viewed as a positive step forward. This is so important in building your career as well.

You need to get turned down.

You need to get over disappointment quickly, and see this rejection as a step forward in the process. Then you need to put yourself out there again – as many times as it takes.

Don’t Stop Trying

I can offer my personal example.

While my corporate career, and sequence of promotions was highly successful by any external measure, people didn’t see all the failures. They didn’t see all the times I heard, NO, and all the times I went for promotions and was passed over or turned down.

The success came from acting like a sales person, improving my value, and putting myself out there — and to keep asking.

So out of about 25 times at the plate, by putting my fears aside, and selling myself again and again, I got about 20-something NO’s and 3 life changing YES’s

You don’t get to the YES without the NO’s.

I see people make the mistake of going for promotion once or twice, getting turned down, and getting discouraged. Then they stop trying.

They blame the unfairness of the environment. Or they manufacture an imaginary high ground, and cite that they refuse to take part in the political maneuvers they believe are required.

The biggest thing holding these people back is that they got turned down, discouraged and then stopped trying.

If you are not willing to keep trying, you are the one creating the obstacle to your success.

2. Find a Bigger Pond

Good sales people go where the opportunity is. If they are assigned a “bad territory”, they find a way to expand or develop it. If they are assigned a genuinely bad territory, they move on and get a different job.

I see many people make the mistake of not moving on, when their environment can no longer support their advancement. They will stay for years, frustrated that there are no promotions available.

I’m all for advancing within your company, and much of what I write about is to help you do exactly that. But if there are no jobs, and several people above you need to die before a position opens up, you need to take it upon yourself to move on if you want to advance.

Or if you have an incompentant manager, you will get stuck. You need to get yourself into a different spot.

Go outside your comfort zone, go get some NO’s from new people, and keep trying!

3. Increase Your Value

When a customer is not buying, a great sales person will pump up the value of what they are selling.

They do this by getting a better understanding of their prospect’s needs, and putting together an offer which is more useful and valuable, and therefore much harder to refuse.

This is also critical in you career.

If you are not seen as promotable, ask yourself why.

Go the extra mile to really learn about and understand what is most relevant to your executive management. Is it new customers? Is it innovation? Is it cost cutting? Is it developing people?

Learn what counts and tune your job to offer more of it. Build up your value.

No one will instruct you to do this. It’s up to you.

Doing your job as written is more like selling a commodity product. Instead create a new product, higher value product. Differentiate your value by tuning your job to have more business impact.

The only way to reliably advance your career is to be always be adding more value to the business.

But don’t forget to keep selling !

Your Job

Your job description is not a life sentence – you can change it.  You need to change it.

If you want to make more progress in your career, (and suffer less along the way), you need to rethink how you work.

I had an opportunity to speak about this at the Design Automation Conference in Anaheim this week, to the Women in Electronic Design Group.

My talk was on Managing your Career on Purpose.

Add value to the business

Something that has been on my mind lately is how important it is, for people at any level, to take control of re-defining their job so they can put themselves in a position to add more value to the business.

The only reliable way to advance your career is to understand what the business needs and make sure your work is impacting it.

Working hard is not enough

In fact, working too hard, trying to do everything that is asked of you, is what gets you stuck.  You need to understand what the business values, and then tune your  job to deliver more value, not just deliver more work.

You need to refuse to burn your time, energy, and career capital working too hard, the wrong way, on the wrong things.

What I find really interesting about this when I work with companies, is this gaping disconnect:

• The Employees: When I talk to the employees and mid-level managers, they tell me they feel like they are working themselves to death, and their work is not being appreciated or recognized.
  .
• The Executives: Then when I talk to the executive management, they tell me that they are frustrated that their people are stuck in the details and not stepping up to deliver at a higher level of value, and failing to drive the strategy forward.
  .

What this implies, is that improving your career is not just good for you. It’s good for your company.  They are waiting for you to step up.

The secret:

• Your management doesn’t just want you to do what they ask of you.
• They want you to do the job that needs to be done, not just the one they gave you.

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Think about it this way.  If your job as a manager was just to get your team to do everything that is asked of you, your manager wouldn’t need you.  They could just assign all the work directly to your team.

You need to change the game

You need to catch all the work, but not try to do it all as it comes across the table at you.  You need to step above it, analyze it, sift through it, prioritize it, and recommend a better way to do it.

Your management wants you to think strategically about the workload that is dumped on you.  It’s up to you to figure out how to change the game, figure out what the most important stuff is, and find the best way to do it.

Don’t wait to be asked

The people who figure this out and do it without being asked or instructed to do so are the ones whose careers advance.

They are not burned out, working tirelessly, without recognition, on everything.  They have figured out a way to be less busy, but add more value to the business.

Good for business

From the perspective of the business, having more people and managers who are personally motivated and capable to step up, the better the business strategy will be executed.

Execution stalls happen when managers and employees are so overwhelmed with activities and demands of their current jobs, that they don’t even have time to think about how to do things in a better way, or implement a new strategy.

Stepping Up

Make sure you know what it means to lead at the right level and manage talent and team performance, not just projects and work output.  Increase the reach and breadth and significance of your impact.

Communicate better.  Build a strong network of support.  Delegate better, and always raise the bar.  You need to step up and pull your people up. It is what your business is expecting of you.

Individuals:  If you’d like some help to step up, check out these resources.

Executives:  If you’d like to discuss how to give your managers tools and support to step up, contact me:

10 IDEAS FROM THE WEBINAR

PACKAGING & POSITIONING YOURSELF

• Download the Podcast
• Download the Podcast, Presentation & Worksheets

Have the Right Strategy

1. You, the Product. You will come across as much more powerful and compelling if you develop your approach to present yourself.

You need to think of yourself as a product to be marketed, and create a communication strategy for each audience you need to influence.

You have a lot of control over how you are perceived, and can stack the deck in your favor, if you do the right things on purpose.

Create the Right Materials

2. Your Marketing Materials. We talked about creating an inventory of marketing materials way beyond a resume.

3. The worksheets for this Webinar are loaded with checklists, examples, and templates for creating a compelling marketing package for your job search or stronger positioning within your company. (download)

Define Your Unique Offer

4. Your Offer: You need to talk about what you offer in a specific way that opens doors and gets people making introductions for you.

5. Thought Leadership. If you want a big job, people will Google you. Make sure they find something impressive! We covered how to create presence and thought leadership internal and external to your company.

6. The Right Stories. Having the right stories prepared ahead of time is critical to making the right impression.  How to package your key accomplishments and proudest moments, and use them to gain a real advantage in how others perceive you.

7. Story Telling: Don’t be boring! How to wrap the right, different titles and
punch lines around key stories for each specific audience, and your desired outcome with them.

Take the Right Actions

8. How to get on “the List”: There is always ” A List”.  Learn how to get on it.  Make connections and get the support of people who are in a position to help you.

9. Make the Connection: We talked about how to map what you offer to what companies are looking for, so they will recognize that you are what they are looking for.

10. How I did it: I walked through an example of how I used all of these techniques at a time in my career when I was going for a big job.

The feedback on this session was amazing, thank you!

Download the Webinar now.

(FREE Downloads for members of Azzarello Group)

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3 Months FREE Membership Offer

Based on the great response to the Membership program and this particular webinar,
I have decided to extend the 3 free months offer to June 9th.

If you become a member by June 9th, you’ll get this podcast and the worksheets,  as well access to all the other resources in the Member Library until September 2011.

Become a member now and get 3 months free.

Or you can:

• Purchase this single podcast.
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When I was in my early 20’s I learned an important lesson.

I was working in a start-up company and had gone 3 years without a raise.

The wrong way…

I went to the CEO and asked for a raise.

He said, Why?

Among other things,  I said that I had been working for 3 years without a raise, and that I had taken on more and more responsibility over that time, and that I always delivered and often exceeded expectations.  I told him it was becoming un-motivating to feel I was working so hard and not moving forward in pay, and peers in other companies were making more money than I was…

He said, I don’t’ care.  It’s not my problem. I only care about what the cost is to replace you, and I could replace you for your salary or less –  so no raise.

(In reality I was valued more than that conversation would lead you to believe, and ultimately got rewarded for it, but I was being taught an important lesson.)

Your job is a contract with your company

You don’t get a raise for good attendance, or because you feel like you deserve one.

You earn a raise by increasing the value of your contribution.

And if you want to get that raise, you need to re-negotiate your contract on terms that are relevant and valuable to your company, not based on what you want or need. And you have to ask.

1. YOU Drive the process

If you are uncomfortable having this conversation with your boss either get comfortable with it, do it anyway, or don’t be disappointed if you get overlooked.

Know that you are at a disadvantage by not having this conversation.

It is vitally important that you and your boss share a common view of your performance and your expectations for promotion and compensation, even if your boss does not drive this discussion.  Of the 20-something years I worked in a corporation for a boss, I did my own performance review 17 times, just to make sure that there were never any disconnects.

2. Understand how you and your role are perceived

It is important to know if you are perceived as a high, average or low performer.  Don’t ever guess about this. There should never be any surprises about this. Find out.

Even in an economy where there are not a lot of raises going around, you still need to be communicating with your boss about your performance and what it is worth, so when there is money, you have done all the groundwork.

Also make sure you know how much your ROLE is valued by the company. For example you don’t want to be the superstar performer leading the support team for an obsolete product.  You may be great, but need to move into a higher valued role to get a raise.

Once you confirm that you are a high performer then go on to build your case for what you want.  If you are not perceived as a high performer – fix that first.  Understand what it takes, and focus on adding value, before you start asking for things.

3. Discuss your raise as part of a business outcome

The basic premise here is:

If I do this, what is it worth to the company?

Here are some things you can say:

• Last year, this is what I accomplished and this is my current compensation.
• I would like to raise the bar for the upcoming year, and deliver more value to the company.
• And If I were to add these additional business outcomes, exceed these goals, etc, would that be worth more to the company?  How much more?
• What business outcome would I need to accomplish that would be worth this level of pay, or this promotion?
• Can we agree that if I deliver this, you will give me that?

4. Follow up on the specfics…

• 9 months ago, we agreed on performance objectives which if accomplished would
  result in increased compensation.
• I believe I have delivered on all of these and then some,  and I also took on this additional project which has benefited the company by increasing our margin on this product line.
• Do you agree? Can I get your feedback on my accomplishments? … (Assuming it’s very positive then…..)
• Will you be increasing my compensation for next year, per our agreement?

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If the answer is, No, for some reason outside performance, you need to get a next agreement.

As long as you keep focused on business outcomes, you are on the high ground.

• If your hands are tied right now, I would like to understand the timeline of what is possible, and if it’s not a raise, is there [stock, bonus, promotion, etc.] that could be possible?
• I’m very motivated, but I think you can understand that at some point this level of performance will be hard to keep delivering if it is not recognized by the company, what do you advise?
• You have my commitment to keep delivering for you, but I can you help me understand what I can expect over time in terms of the company being able to hold up our prior agreement about my performance and compensation?

And my personal favorite…

• If you were in my position, how long would YOU keep performing at this level with my current compensation?

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Note to high performers:

One of the hazards of being a high performer is that your career advances quickly, and you are always at the bottom of the pay curve.

Your company acts like it is doing you a favor by taking a chance on you in a bigger role (and in the beginning they are), but then you can get stuck. You end up performing at or above the level of your peers and getting paid far less.

It is up to you to show the value of your work and re-negotiate your contract based on the business outcomes you deliver, instead of the history of how you got into the role.

Focus on what you are delivering,  and mention the fact that you are not getting any slack for having less time in the job, or delivering any less value than your peers.  You should be paid what the job is worth.

Two things to never do

1.  I need a raise because my mortgage has adjusted, I had another child, I am supporting my extended family…  Your company does not, and should not care what you spend your money on.  They only care about the value you deliver.

2. Give me a raise or I’ll quit.  This can work… if you are serious.  But you better actually quit if you don’t get the raise.  If you don’t quit, you will have caused so much bad will, and lost so much credibility that your career at that company will never quite recover.  And that story will be part of your back-channel reference forever after too.

10 IDEAS
FROM THE WEBINAR

MANAGING YOUR CAREER

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Download the PODCAST to learn more about:

Do more than your job description

1. You have more control than you think. But f you want to be building your career and not just doing work, you need to use time differently, and schedule some additional thinking and planning time every month.

Use the Career Year of Action Guide to keep yourself on track.

Necessary Actions

2. Have a desired outcome. Even if you don’t know what you want, you need to set a target so you can tell if you are making progress or wasting time at any point in time. Without an outcome in mind it’s easy to get stuck.

3. Focus on what you are good at. Your current job description is not a life sentence. It is a contract with your company. You need to take ownership to re-negotiate that contract, to put yourself in a position of strength.

4. Always be building stories. Make notes of your accomplishments and understand what important stories they tell.  Build a stock of your best stories, so you don’t forget them, or fail to later describe your work in a way that matters.

5. Make your own experience. Your current job will not provide the experience you need for your target job. It is up to you to get experience in that job and practice that job before you get it.

6. Become known in the role you want. If the powers that be don’t associate you with the kind of role you want, you wont get there. Do the necessary things to fill the gaps, build support and communicate.

7. Network before you need anything. You need to stay present and relevant with your network if you want to use it to help you advance or move. Give generously to your network before you need to ask for help.

8. Don’t get stuck in the weeds. The most successful people were not the ones who were less busy along the way. Use your time strategically. Rise above the details and tactics. Get the right stuff done.

9. Be willing to LEAP and be scared. If you want to get ahead, you need to step up, go for things, and trust yourself to learn along the way and build a team to support your weak areas. If you are terrified, you are doing it right.

A good thing

10. Managing your career is not a selfish or harmful activity. The more you are in control, the stronger, and more strategic you are, the more you can help your team,  and add value to your company.  The more satisfied you are in your work, the more effective you will be.

WANT SOME SUPPORT WITH ALL THIS?

Members:

Download the Podcast and the Career Year of Action Guide for FREE

Non Members:

• Purchase this PODCAST
• Purchase the Career Year of Action Guide

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I want to help

I have learned over the years that there are specific things you can do that make all the difference between getting ahead and just working really hard.

The “Secrets”

There is no reason why the “unspoken rules of success” need to be secret.  It’s just that most people don’t bother to talk about them.

So I do!  — in my membership program. As a member you get key insights, practical tools you can use right now, and live personal coaching from me.  (I had lots of help.) So now I share.

Big payoff

The membership is paying off for people.

For $179/year, even if you only got one idea that helped you:

• manage a conversation with your boss better
• get bigger results out of your team
• increase your value to your company
• find more meaning in your work
• make more time in your life
• reduce your frustration
• or get access to a promotion

the return on $179 would be huge.  And I know you’ll get more than one idea.

(Members consider it their personal secret weapon.)

Why not give yourself (or someone else) a career gift for the new year?

JOIN NOW (and get the Career Year of Action Guide for FREE)

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Get a real, concrete advantage next year.

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I really would love to help.

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I don’t know what it is about the start to 2010 but, 4 people have talked to me about executive presence in the past week!

Presence and Success

The conversations are about confidence, respect, being valued, being recognized, getting your ideas heard, and taking risks.

You can get good at it

This comes naturally to some people, but probably fewer than you think.

People often say to me, well this is easy for you, this is one of your strengths. I can tell you this was not always so.

I can remember early in my career being very nervous,  timid, or awkward in certain situations, and being worried and defensive when I had to meet or spend time with “important people”.

And because I was always young for the job I was in, I was often coached that I needed to work on my “gravitas” my or executive presence.

I eventually got there. Here is what I have learned:

Executive Presence has 4 parts

1. How you Feel
2. How you Look
3. How you Behave
4. Never appearing overwhelmed

1. How you feel

Be who you are

If you are being who you really are, you will be comfortable.  You will come across as strong.

Here is where people argue, but I can’t do that.  Who I really am is a surfer, and I wear beach clothes and tell jokes and I can’t be like that at work.

The trick is to still be the comfortable, relaxed person you are on the weekend, and bring all that  positive, real surfer-dude energy to your work environment.  You don’t need to bring the beach sand and the margaritas to work to be who you authentically are.

If you are positive, focused, like to challenge yourself, and have a sense of humor solving tough work issues, people will be drawn to that and respect you (as long as you get the work done too!)

If you instead overly contrive a non-surfer, buttoned-up, false work-persona, you will never be fully comfortable in it and your executive presence will always take a hit.

Be confident

This is really the crux of the issue.  It’s hard to be comfortable if you are not confident.  There are two schools of thought here.

1. Go into therapy for years to work on your self confidence
2. Do it anyway – Be fearless even when you are not confident.

I read an interview with the comedian, singer and improv performer Wayne Brady, which had a big impact on me.

I am paraphrasing, but he said when he needs to do an improv or anything on stage, if he is confident about it, he does it full on, all the way. But if he is standing on stage thinking, “hmm, I’m not sure this one is going to work, or I’m not sure this is going to be good”  He does it full on, all the way, anyway.

Don’t ever back off when you are not confident

He said that it never helps to second guess yourself and approach a performance apologetically in case it might not work out.

In fact, being tentative about what you are doing will guarantee that it doesn’t go well.

I have thought about that every time I have been in a situation where I was not as comfortable or as confident about my role, my performance, my argument, or my task, and I can tell you, it makes a huge difference. It’s always better than the moderated, apologetic version.

Fearlessness is a requirement

Fearlessness sets successful people apart.  You probably know lots of people who are not as talented as you, but have more executive presence.  Why not allow yourself at least that much?

Something that I talk about in my upcoming book in a chapter called “Executive Confessions” is that:  Everyone is Bluffing.

There is no executive that knows everything about the job they are in.

They are successful because they are willing to put themselves out there, make presentations, make decisions, and lead even though they don’t know everything personally.

The people that scramble around to learn and master every detail are the ones who get stuck because:

1. it is an endless task
2. so it uses up all your time
3. and you never actually step up and get around to leading

They believe that they can only be competent (and therefore confident and comfortable) if they know all the details.  But they are sacrificing their executive presence, and failing to lead.

Think about it this way.  By definition,  this goes against building any executive presence because people always SEE you in the weeds.

2. How you look

It matters.  You may think that what you say and think and do all matter more, and they do, but what about the people that only ever SEE you?

When you walk into a room, if you want to be seen as someone who is in charge, someone with presence, you need to look the part.

I have seen executives who are very casual get away without this, but their confidence and other leadership behaviors are off the charts.

If you want to stack the deck in your favor, pay attention to your appearance.  You don’t need to be a fashionista, but you should make sure your clothes really fit well, your shoes are not grubby, and your hair style and glasses are of this century.

No one ever felt more confident by wearing a cheap suit.

In fact I heard that when Sean Connery first started playing James Bond, they got him a really good suit and then encouraged him to wear it all week and even sleep in it.  This goes back to feeling comfortable.  One of the reasons Sean Connery pulled off James Bond because he was comfortable in the suit!

Trick:  Quality clothes that really fit you (superficial outside improvement) will make you feel more confident (meaningful inside improvement).

3. How you behave

How you talk and act, and what you say and do, either build or degrade your executive presence.  Being comfortable and confident give you a huge head start, of course, but the specifics matter too.

Whether you are in a room with your team, a large function in your company, or a meeting with your executive committee, board or other big, scary people, it is important to show up as, and be recognized as a leader with strong presence.

Step up!

If you are in a room with your team, lead.  Step up.  Don’t just be in the room or at the dinner with them.  Say something.  Have a point of view.  Reach out to them. Bring them together as a team with your words and actions.

If you are in a room with big executives, show up.   Meet them.  Get a sense of what they are most interested in and talk to them about that.  Ask some questions. Get input and feedback. (fearless, remember).

Don’t just stick to your prepared presentation and your work.  Do some research. Have a story that they will relate to that has nothing to do with work.

If you stay in the shadows, or are timid because you are nervous about being there, you are showing them you don’t really belong there.  Be a full person, willing to engage.

4. Never Appearing Overwhelmed

This is probably a sub-category of How you Behave, but it is one of the most hazardous to your executive presence.

Think about it this way.  If you appear overwhelmed in what you are currently doing, you are by definition showing that you are not ready for a bigger job.

Part of executive presence is to look like you are doing your job with ease and grace.  Even if behind the scenes it is chaos, what people should see is you calm and in control.

Deal with the overwhelm privately.

Don’t cancel meetings at the last minute, don’t act rushed and impatient.

Don’t get upset or defensive when people do things that throw you off course.  Just say “let me take that input and get back to you”, and then go off privately and scream, get frustrated, re-work or not, and go back calm and in control.

.

10 IDEAS
FROM THE WEBINAR:
TUNING YOUR PERSONAL BRAND

Download the podcast to learn more about:

Your Current Brand

1. You have a Personal Brand right now whether you know it or not!
Find out what it is and don’t leave it to chance!

Your brand is defined by what others perceive of you.  They base that on the behaviors that they see from you most consistently.  How can you better demonstrate the things you most want to be known for?

2. Consistency is KEY. Being consistently bad is better than being inconsistently good!  Inconsistency causes disappointment.  Consistency builds confidence, trust, and credibility.

Changing Your Brand

3. If you want to tune or change your Personal Brand, you need to turn up the volume on new consistent behaviors that demonstrate what you want to be known for, and turn down the volume on those you don’t.

4. Evolve a Positive: You can evolve a positive brand attribute that is not well targeted to your current professional situation by attaching or partnering new behaviors to current ones.  Don’t just be focused, be focused AND action oriented.

5. Recover and rebuild. You can get rid of negative brand attributes, (or climb out of a hole you dug with a screw up) by purposefully stopping certain behaviors and adding positive ones consistently over time – it takes time to give people a reason to trust a new behavior.

More Visibility and Relevance

6. Be more relevant. Don’t be well thought of but off base. If  you have a strong brand that  is not relevant to your current environment, (like if you have made a job change and people don’t see you as strong in the new role) add a focused new set of behaviors which create the new impression you want to give.

7. Be more visible. Don’t be well thought of but blank. If you are  respected in your small circle, but largely unknown and invisible, you will need to select something specific you want to be known for and tune your behaviors and communications to give people the right hook for what you want them to know and respect you for.

Using and Reinforcing Your Brand

8. Re-inforce it. Use your brand in every interaction – every meeting, email, presentation, sales call, every partner meeting… when you keep your brand top of mind and use it in every situation you will be perceived in a consistent, positive, trusted way.

9. Create your own personal role model. Your Personal Brand should describe the  best version of your self, and be a picture of someone that you can look up to and strive to emulate at every interaction.

10. Be more satisfied: A strong Personal Brand is based on your core strengths and values.  It is WHY you are good at what you are good at.  If you define and live your Personal Brand, you will be more effective and more satisfied in your work.

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TUNING YOUR PERSONAL BRAND

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SHOULD YOU BECOME A MEMBER?

I want to help

I have learned over the years that there are specific things you can do that make all the difference between getting ahead and just working really hard. This is at the core of my work. So I share. (I had lots of help) I want to help.

I think all talented, ambitious people deserve access to the insights and support they need to get ahead. There is no reason why the “unspoken rules of success” need to be secret.  It’s just that most people don’t bother to talk about them.

So I do!  — in my membership program. As a member you get key insights, practical tools you can use right now, and live personal coaching from me.

Big payoff

The membership is paying off for people.  For $179/year, even if you only got one idea that helped you manage a conversation with your boss better, get bigger results out of your team, increase your value to your company, find more meaning in your work, make more time in your life, reduce your frustration, or get access to a promotion — the return on $179 would be huge.  And I know you’ll get more than one idea.

(Members consider it their personal secret weapon.)

• JOIN NOW
• Learn more
• Browse the Library

No Risk -

You have 90 days – money back if you don’t like it

I really would love to help.

Thanks!

Patty

Collecting a stack of business cards from people you met once at a networking event is not adding any real value to your network. Skip it if you hate it.

I often talk about this, but realized that I have not written about this on my blog, so I wanted to share a few thoughts on growing your network.

Meeting new people

This is the part of networking that many people find difficult, if not paralyzing.  Enjoying the challenge of meeting new people is a strength that the vast majority of people don’t have!

And to make matters worse, many people in addition to being generally uncomfortable with meeting people, feel like building a network is a selfish, shallow, or disingenuous activity.

Sincerity not Numbers

Instead of thinking about networking success in terms of the number of people you meet at networking events, or getting big numbers on LinkedIn or twitter, think about Authentic Networking as making real connections with people that you would actually like to meet.

Then stay in touch with them because you share a real reason to be connected.  This is the way to both grow and build real value into your network.

What do you actually care about?

Set out to meet just one person based on something that genuinely interests or inspires you.  Then you have an authentic connection, and you already have a built-in topic for the discussion.

You won’t get that uncomfortable feeling of engaging a stranger in small talk, or feel like it is shallow or hollow.  And, more importantly, you leave with a real connection that you can build on over time.

I have grown my network significantly over the years, a few people a year, in a very authentic and high value way, by reaching out only to people who have done something that has genuinely interested, impressed, or inpired me, and telling them that they had done so as my way of contacting them.

Here’s how this goes…

You contact them and say:

I [read an article, saw a panel discussion, listened to a webcast]  where you [did something, said something].
I was very interested in [a comment about something you were actually interested in].
The reason I was so impressed was [insert a real reason].
I thought I would connect with you and let you know you had [some sort of positive impact on me]. If there is ever anything I can do to be of service to you, please let me know.

Then once you make a genuine connection, make sure you stay in touch.   Staying in touch with people is the most important part of neworking.  That is how you put value into your network.  Meeting someone new has no value if you then don’t stay in touch!

This is the aspect of networking that I talk most about.  You can read some prior posts on staying in touch:

• The Power of Weak Connections
• 10 things to give your network
• High Value Online Behaviors

A note on networking events

This authentic networking approach also can work well at networking events.  Instead of just showing up, figure out ahead of time who is going to be there, do some research, and then set out to meet specific people for specific reasons that actually interest you.

You will be way more comfortable at the event because you will have a sense of purpose, some goals (find and meet these three specific people), and will be armed with something to talk about once you meet them.

More Resources on Networking

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How do you deal with people that are average performers?

The nice, loyal employees, who are not capable of stepping up to do what the job requires in the future?

You can’t really fire them for poor performance, because they are not problem employees, but you also know they are not what you really need in your business. 

They can’t help you enough to get where you need to go.

This is a very common situation, and as a leader you have two choices.

1. Average leadership behavior would be to let it ride, and wait until you can hire an additional new person, who is a top performer into a NEW role, and leave the average performer there.

2. Stand-out leadership behavior would be to change your organization, and build it UP.

Draw the ideal blank-sheet org chart

1. Start with the Desired Outcome for the Business

Get really clear about what business outcomes the company needs, and what the role is that your team needs to play in driving them.

Really understand and articulate the specific work, strategic problem solving, and outcomes that your team, and the specific individuals on your team, need to deliver to drive those business outcomes, not just now but in the future.

2. Draw your ideal org chart

Create a picture of the team that can do what you really need done.

Start with a blank sheet of paper. 

Don’t consider the current roles or who you already have on the team at all.  Just think about what the BUSINESS really needs, what outcomes you are on the hook for, and what the ideal team would be to make sure you can do it.

3. Create and clearly define the specific NEW roles

When you define the new roles, focus on outcomes, objectives and deliverables, not just “responsibilities”. 

List the long term objectives and short term work for each role on your ideal team.  Articulate the level of skills for decision making, strategic thinking, communicating, leadership, influence, and support which are required of someone in the role.

4. You have just created a clear and actionable picture of your goalIt is your job to make that picture come true.  It is likely that your current team does not fit into that structure.  It is your job to change your team over time so it does.

Two things will likely become clear at this point:

1. Some of your current people will people obviously map into the new roles.  Put them there.

2. You will end up with both some empty boxes AND some extra people.

The hard part

The real leadership comes in when you need to fill the empty boxes, and deal with the extra people.

This is a straightforward, and business focused way to move average or unmotivated performers off your team when you can’t fire them for being poor performers.  You make it clear what the business needs, what the new roles are, and what the requirements are for those roles.

It’s not personal

Their role does not exist any more.  The roles that do exist are new and different.  They are welcome to interview.   If they don’t make the cut, either give them a new role a level down in your organization, move them to another organization, or lay them off.

Your job is not to take care of people who are not up to the job you need to get done.  Your job is to build a team that can drive the right business outcomes.

This seems harsh. Is this really necessary?

Sure you can look around you, and see lots of average performance and other leaders not acting on this and not doing what it takes to build the right team. 

There can be a wide-spread tolerance for mediocrity in your company. 

Maybe you won’t lose your job if you just tolerate average performance and muscle through most of the hard stuff personally.

But just be clear maintaining the status quo is not stand-out, high value behavior as a leader.

This is not the kind of leadership experience that will set you up to advance. This is opting out as a leader.

This does not make you a bad person

If you have to eliminate jobs to build a stronger team, that also doesn’t prevent you from helping people you let go, get into their next job.  It wasn’t a performance issue, you needed different roles and this person was no longer a fit.  You are still in a position to help and provide referrals.

I have found that when people are struggling in the wrong roles and not doing well enough, taking them out of the role, gives them a new opportunity to move to a role where they can thrive and excel.  After getting over the initial shock and disappointment, they are often happier.

I acknowledge that right now is not a great time to be putting people out of work, but you can’t let that keep you from building the right team.

The other way to look at it is that you may be putting your whole team and your own job at risk, by not stepping up to do what the business needs.

The tougher the business challenges, the stronger the team you need.

Here is a useful checklist of the things that make the difference between careers that break through and careers that stall.

Feel Free to forward it to others!

DO Better

Are you working on the right things?

• Can you explain how your company makes money?
• Can you show specifically how your work is adding value to the business?
• What percentage of time do you work on key initiatives, vs. stay busy with tactical activity?  What should it be?
• Do you have the ability to stop doing things that have a lower payoff?

Are you working in the right way?

• Are you a work-horse? Does the work just keep getting piled on because you do it so well?
• How much time do you schedule for yourself to think?  How much should you?
• What things do you do things specifically to make more time and make room?
• What do you do to manage your energy?

Are your working at the right level?

• Do you delegate well?  Do you jump in and do work for your team?
• Do you ever “cover” for work your team does that is not good enough?
• What are the top 3 critical leadership tasks to be done at your level?
• How do you measure if you are creating value in the business or just delivering work?
• Do you find ways to reduce the cost of doing what you did last year?
• What are you learning about this year on top of your job description?
• What are the learning goals you have set for your team this year?
• Do you have the right team?  Do you need to upgrade your team?
• What do you do on purpose to build trust through your behaviors and communications?

LOOK Better

• How do you create positive visibility for the work you and your team do?
• Do you know who all of your stakeholders and influencers are?
• Who are the people who have a say in what happens to you (even if you don’t interact directly)?
• Do you know what you are known for?  Is it what you want?  Do you know why?
• Do you do things to build your credibility on purpose?
• How well do you know your boss’s boss? Your boss’s peers?
• How do you learn what is most relevant to your business stakeholders?
• Do you know how they would describe it?  What words would they use?
• Do you focus as much effort on how you sell your ideas as the ideas themselves?
• What is your process to regularly communicate with people outside your organization?

CONNECT Better

• Do you have mentors?
• What sort of mentors are most necessary to help you meet your goals?
• Are you a mentor?
• Do you regularly GIVE things to people in your network?
• Do you do networking naturally?
• How much time do you spend doing proactive networking? How much should it be?
• Do you have relationships with people who challenge and fuel your imagination?
• Do you regularly interact with people in other organizations an industries to get fresh perspectives?
• Do you tend seek out help when you need it?
• What is your strategy to grow your network?
• What kind of network is expected for the next job you want?
• How many people who don’t work for you, would do work for you if you asked?

Want some help with all this?

If you’d like to get some more insight and support for how you can attack this list to position yourself better, be more effective, and get a bigger payoff in your career, I offer a unique opportunity to a small group of people to spend a day with me.

We work on building your personal plan to grow your career, raise your game as a leader, create your Personal Brand, increase your influence, and grow your network.  It’s a small group, so it is personalized to you.

I can’t do many of these workshops any more, due to the rest of my business commitments, so I do only two public sessions per year now.   

I have only 6 seats left in my next session on October 22 in San Mateo.

If you come I guarantee you will get at least one life-changing idea, and dozens of practical things you can start doing tomorrow to get more of what you want out of your work.

I share, from my personal experience, and everything I learned from smart people along the way, what things will have the biggest impact on your success, and which things are a waste of time and will get you stuck.

It’s been wonderful to hear the stories about the big promotions, and the career and life changing events that people have been able to create for themselves as a result of this workshop.

If you are interested, don’t wait.  Sign up Now.

There are only 6 seats left and the next session will not be until April or May of next year.

If you can’t make it to San Mateo, you can also get this workshop on DVD.

Thanks,